Page 18
“The idea is ridiculous,” Michael said, standing up and walking towards the curtains. “There’s nothing I can do. No, I don’t want her back. It would be highly inefficient for me to try to get her back. She shocked me this morning because she seemed happy this whole trip. And, after all, the trip was her idea.” He walked back and forth at the foot of the bed. “She wanted to come, she wanted to get out of the house, she put the pressure on me. Of course, I have not had a vacation in twelve years. So I did want to come too. And I could see how she was getting bored with me at the office all the time. But everyone who takes a vacation lets someone down, doesn’t meet obligations. So I have been irresponsible. Certainly, that’s true. But, as Sonya said, I have to get used to that every now and then for my own good.”
Barbara followed Michael back and forth at her feet. “Why don’t you sit down?” she whispered when he paused.
“Fine,” he said. “I’ll sit down.” He marched back to the big chair and dropped into it, staring at Barbara.
“How can a vacation be such a big deal?” she asked him.
“How many have you taken in the last twelve years?”
“Well, some Christmases we go to visit Mom,” she said. “But Chuck goes places all the time. Meetings and things like that. And I take care of the kids. Don’t you have meetings and seminars?”
“I have clients up and down the coast and on the west coast as well. I did some work in San Francisco last year. That was fun. But those trips aren’t vacations,” he said, suddenly rising up from his seat. He squeezed his nose with his thumb and forefinger and paused, his knees bent. Then, squeezing tightly, he slowly lowered himself back down to his seat. After he let go of his nose, having not sneezed, he took a deep breath and shook his head.
“Maybe I don’t want her back,” he said. “Sometimes I had hoped she would die or leave me or something. She makes me nervous. Right now, I may want her dead. Trying to get her back would waste too much time. It’s all kind of disappointing.”