An online novel by Gillette Edmunds

The panic started. I should have stayed with the tour where someone could take care of me, he thought. But there was no one to take care of him. If he could get back to the office he would be ok. Suicide was not it. It was too scary. He needed to just be in the office, working on cases, reading the tax regulations. Then he would be ok.

He picked up the phone. An operator spoke English. She had a nice voice. He wanted to ask her about suicide. He wanted to know if it was ok. If it was better. But it was embarrassing. He asked about flights home. She said fly out of Milan. Rome was too far. She had been to New York. She married a man in New York and then they were divorced. He wanted to ask her to marry him. He didn’t. She put him through to Milan and he made a reservation. He knew he would make it home. There was a flight at 11:00 AM.

He decided to sleep a few hours and then head for Milan.

Lying on the bed, staring at the light coming through the draped, his mind kept thinking. My life is pointless. A partnership and marrying Sonya turned out to be worthless. I could drive off one of those bridges. No. No. Forget trying to sleep. Get in the car and drive to Milan now. Do not drive off a bridge, do not.

He showered again, packed the car, and drove. Eat at the airport, that will save you. Eat at the airport. You’ll make it back to the office. You’ll be safe there. Eat at the airport, then go to the office. Do not go off a bridge. Do not.